Tomorrow morning I go back to see my OB for the first time since the last appointment where he made me feel like crap about my anxiety issues. I want to address how he handled the last appointment (making me even more anxious about stuff I have NO control over), but I'm nervous I'll just make things worse between us and I kind of need him on my side. Anyway, I don't usually have a problem saying how I really feel, but I don't want to be too confrontational either. I talked to my mom about this today, and she responded in a way I just had to share. It's really pretty humorous, in a frustrating kind of way. :)
Here was my mom's advice (she is a pro at saying the exact WRONG thing, bless her heart (she always means well!), and some day I want to write a book about some her classic statements to me through all of this)...
Me: "I'm going to be honest with him (my OB) tomorrow about what I need from him, and how unhelpful his advice was last week. I don't think it's fair that he treated me that way."
My mom: "Oooh, I wish you would wait, maybe until your next appointment? I mean, give it some time. If you bring up the last appointment, he's going to think you're a psycho. He probably doesn't even remember it. Just try to act like a normal pregnant person tomorrow, ok?"
Me: ... silence
Mom: "I mean, I just don't want him to treat you that way again and you might upset him."
Me: "I'm NOT a normal pregnant person, mom. Sorry. And I'm not going to 'pretend' I am for his sake. I don't care about protecting HIS feelings. This is my pregnancy, not his."
Mom: "Ok, I just don't want you to make it worse."
Sigh... this is very typical of my mom. I love her to death, but she is SO good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. And she's the first to admit that. But bless her cottin' pickin' soul, she also has more patience with me and all my craziness than any other human being possibly ever could. I actually laughed quite a bit about the line "Just try to act like a normal pregnant person tomorrow, ok?" b/c it's just so damn ridiculous. :) If only I could, mom, if only I could. I'd give my left foot to BE a normal pregnant person, but that ain't gonna happen. Instead, I'm a "psycho" pregnant person who demands a lot from her OB. Oh well. It is what it is!
It is what it is, I think. Can you really be the first "psycho" pregnant person he's ever seen? And if so, you are preparing him for future ones. That's the way I look at it.
ReplyDeleteMy mom is similar. When we were going to meet with out potential gestational carrier for the first time, she wanted me to say whatever was needed to make her like us. Never mind that, uh, we're the one who's paying the big bucks.
Then again, she's also the one who told me to get rid of my two cats when I was single if a potential (POTENTIAL!!) boyfriend hated cats and to never tell a boyfriend how much I owed in student loans.
God knows how I ever got married :)