The date is officially set...

Tuesday, December 4th at 1pm. That will be our baby's birthday, to the hour... unless, of course, he decides to come earlier than that, which I really don't think will happen. I have not had a single Braxton Hicks contraction, or any other indication that labor could start any time in the near future. Plus, he's breech, so it's not like his head is pushing on my cervix or anything like that. He's snug as a bug in there, and I don't expect labor to start on its own any time soon.

We had originally planned on having my scheduled c-section this Thursday, November 29th, but the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I was with that date. I can't even fully explain why, but there are various factors that influenced my decision to wait a bit.

First, and I know the actual date really doesn't matter at ALL, but I have always thought of this baby as a December baby. A Christmas baby. A warm, snuggly gift to come during one of my favorite months, just in time for the holidays. December sounds right to me; November doesn't. It sounds weird, but I guess that's just how I've been thinking about it right along, and since I get to choose anyway, why not wait a few more days?

Second, and much more importantly, on November 29th I will only be 39 weeks and 2 days. Now I KNOW this is more than full-term, and that he would be perfectly fine if we took him out then, but for some reason it just wasn't sitting right with me. I've read a few things about how there is occasionally a higher risk for respiratory issues with babies born via cesarean, and that that risk is higher when they are born prior to 39 weeks. So going to 39 weeks and 2 days didn't feel super reassuring to me. I wanted to give him more time, just in case he needs it. And most likely he doesn't need it and would be perfectly fine a week earlier, but I just felt more comfortable waiting.

Third, there was the issue of work (again, doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but still). This week is final exam week for my high schoolers. If we did the 29th, Thursday, I was going to have to start my maternity leave 2 days early, which is 2 less days I would get paid in the end. And they are 2 VERY EASY days, so that was frustrating to me. Thursday is a 1/2 day, with work time for teachers in the afternoon. And Friday the kids don't have school at all, so I will literally just be taking care of business all day and sitting on my bum at school for my last day. I wasn't happy about being docked 2 whole sub days for days when I'd hardly even need a sub, so I'm very happy to be able to just finish the week/trimester through to the end. Then again, if baby boy decides to come early, I won't care one iota about work at that point. But since we're picking a date here, it might as well be convenient, right? :)

Thankfully, my OB was super nice about switching the date, which had already been set for the 29th at the hospital. And there was one other issue at play here, which I am SO thankful did not end up being an issue in the end. It's all working out. The issue was that originally my OB had said he only does c-sections on Thursdays, since he's in the clinic every other day. So that meant we could do Thursday the 29th, or wait unil the following Thursday, December 6th (2 days past my due date). Once I'd decided I wanted to wait until he was a full 40 weeks, I was trying my hardest to be ok with December 6th. But here's the thing: December 6th is the 2 year anniversary, to the day, of my first D&C from my first miscarriage. AKA possibly the worst and hardest day of my life so far. Now, yes, two years have passed. And yes, this birth could help change my negative associations with that date. But honestly, I didn't want what I expect to be the happiest day of my life (my first living child's birthday) to be in any way connected to negative feelings. Still, I tried to tell myself this wouldn't matter in the end. And I cried a bit at the irony of it all. And I wondered once again about God's timing and his sense of humor (if you could call it that). But then...

At my appt. on Wednesday, once we decided to switch dates, we went with my OB to talk to the lady who schedules surgeries. And guess what? He is full-up packed on the 6th. No openings for little ol' me to have my baby. He was surprised by this; I was relieved. And then? The best part. He says, "Ok, well, pick another day that week and I will make it work. It'll be fine. I can sneak over to the hospital and help you with this." I was blown away by this! After all of our ups and downs during this pregnancy, he is really, truly coming through for me. And I do want him to do it. I don't want another OB who doesn't know me or my anxieties. So this is huge for me. And so we picked our due date, Tuesday, December 4th, and I feel so much peace about that date. I was born on my due date, so I love that my son will born that way too (even if it's not naturally). Plus, it's NOT December 6th, which is a huge relief to me. All in all, it's the perfect date in my mind to have this little boy.

December 4th, 1pm. If I say it enough, maybe it will start to feel real to me...

So that's where we stand as of today. I am still scared that something will go wrong between now and then. I have even said to my husband, "What if he somehow dies between the 29th and the 4th? I'll never be able to forgive myself for waiting." But I pray that won't happen, and that all of my (hopefully irrational) fears about my son dying before he's born will prove to be totally unfounded in the end. And the end is only 10 days away! I can't believe it. I truly can't believe it. :)