35 weeks

I have wanted to write for so long, and yet just as I expected, October went and got insanely busy and is now somehow almost over. This month was CRAZY, and I am exhausted in a way I didn't even know was possible. I'll try to recap a bit on all that has happened since my last post:

• A few weeks ago we had a lovely little baby shower here in town put on by someone I have grown close to since moving back home a little over a year ago. It was small and intimate and perfect. My favorite part was that this friend lead a ritual called "The Blessing Way" in which everyone was asked to bring a bead and some wisdom to share. The women went around in a circle and explained why they picked the bead they did, and then shared how they knew me, as well as their advice for my future as a mom. This collection of beads was then strung onto a necklace, with the idea being that I can take it into labor with me and in that way have each of those women present with me and supporting me through that process. It was so meaningful to hear what they all had to say, and I know that necklace will be a huge comfort to me in the weeks ahead. 
• Less than a week later we headed downstate for my brother's kidney transplant at the U of M hospital in Ann Arbor. It was an emotional, but good weekend, as things went well. He is now home recovering, as is his dear friend who donated her kidney to my brother. It is just such a miracle, and yet it has been an overwhelming couple of years for my family as my mom just went through this same process only 14 months ago at the Mayo Clinic. I think we are all relieved to have the transplants over and done with, and are now hoping for many years of healthy kidney function for both my mom and brother.
• In the midst of these two events, I also had 2 weeks of parent-teacher conferences, since I am working at 2 different schools this year. They went well, as they always do, and yet I still don't feel caught up from how draining those 12+ hour days can be. I also had my first evaluation/formal observation of the year at work, which is always a bit stressful. And since I'm leaving for 12 weeks here pretty soon, they want to do my other one ASAP. Fun, fun. I am SO ready for some time away from school! I love my job and all, but it is just so draining at times.
• Last week we also had two night classes related to this baby, which is still pretty surreal to me. Is this really happening? All signs point to "yes." On Tuesday night we had a "Baby Care" class in which we spent 3.5 hours learning things that to me seem to be common sense, and yet it was a good refresher (I worked all through college in an infant room at a daycare center, so I have the diaper changing bit down pat :). I get anxious before things like this because I always assume I will feel like a weirdo around "normal" pregnant women, or that I will be jealous of their easy joy and naivete, but actually it wasn't that bad. The couple who sat next to us were actually not even pregnant, but rather were awaiting their first adopted baby girl. That really touched me, and made me realize I really have a lot to be thankful for (so should shut down my pity-party once in a while). They were a wonderful couple, and they ALMOST made up for the completely ridiculous and inappropriate couple next to them who made continuous crude jokes and annoying commentary on everything the instructor said. For example, the man's favorite joke seemed to be about the baby dying if we didn't do things the right way... as in his response to the instructor asking, "What happens if the car seat isn't installed correctly?" His "hilarious" reply to that was "Oh, the baby dies, obviously." Apparently babies dying is something so foreign to some people that they can joke about it? It made me sick. And that wasn't the only time he used that line. I wanted to tell him to shut the "eff" up, that his joke was NOT the least bit funny and that sometimes babies really do die, but I let the awkward silence from the rest of us speak for itself. What an a-hole. I wasn't the only one in the room who didn't appreciate those jokes.
• The next night we went to a private birthing class, that was just the two of us with one nurse. That was MUCH better for someone like me, as I didn't have to worry about anyone else that night. We could ask all the questions we wanted, and it was just far more comfortable. We left with a somewhat better idea of what to expect from labor and delivery, though to be honest it all still seems like a reality that won't ever really happen for me. Also, I'm feeling more and more certain this little dude is going to stay breech, which is how he's been the entire pregnancy so far as I know, which means a vaginal birth complete with lots of pushing, breathing exercises, etc. might not be in the stars for me. I really do not want a c-section, but in the end I guess I don't really care HOW he gets here, so long has he gets here and is healthy. 

• Then, last weekend we headed BACK down state, only this time it was for another baby shower. This one was put on by two of my good friends and was in Lansing, where I lived for the 11 years prior to moving back to my hometown. It was again really nice, though slightly overwhelming to finally see so many people I have missed for so long, and yet not really have enough to time to catch up with any of them. We were so blessed though by the many wonderful gifts and kind words spoken. And it was nice to get back to my other "hometown," our church (where Phil and I met),  and to catch up with some of our long-lost friends. I also got to check in on my brother, which was a bonus.

I think that pretty much sums up the last month. There were other things thrown in there (doctors appointments, etc.), and all-in-all it made for a very speedy few weeks (which I'm thankful for!). Somehow, now, we find ourselves at 35 weeks and in the final countdown. Only 4 more weeks of school for me, and then it's actually going to be time for this baby boy to make his appearance. It's just so surreal and still seems unfathomable to me that this is really happening. To say I'm excited does not begin to describe it, and yet right there with that excitement is my same old fear that something might go wrong. Still, I only have 5 more weeks to deal with that fear, and my hope is that it will all be proved unnecessary and that he will arrive perfect and healthy. That, to me, is a dream I never thought would come true! I am so hoping to be proven wrong on that.

I am seeing my OB every week now for an NST, and then have an ultrasound scheduled for next Monday, right around 36 weeks. I requested the ultrasound, as I'd like to check fluid levels, the size of the baby, and of course his position (praying SO hard he flips to the right position and SOON!), and luckily my doctor agreed to have it done. I haven't seen the baby since 27 weeks, and I'm both excited and nervous. I hope it's reassuring and not the opposite, so I can just enjoy this last month until he gets here.

Finally, I haven't posted pictures in a while, so I'll include a few from the showers, and some random belly shots from the last month or so too:

At shower number one with some ladies I love so much!

Doing the bead activity. P.S. I look like a whale, but it's cool.

Baby boy's snowsuit, from my mom. :)

I think this was 33 weeks?

At shower number two, with the two hosts.

The gift that makes me laugh the hardest: The hands-free breast pump contraption that comes with a picture of a woman using her computer while pumping. My friend pictured here picked it out at first as a joke, then looked down and saw it was actually on my registry. I love it. :) Actually, I'm sure it will come in really handy!

I have LOVED SkippyJon Jones since before my TTC days, because #1 it's about a siamese cat that looks my own kitty, and #2 it's a cat that wants to be a chihuahua AND speaks Spanish. So awesome. I can't read to read the books that go with this stuffed animal to my little man (who I WILL be teaching Spanish to).

Friends from Mason, where I taught for the first 5 years of my career. I love them all so much! Also pictured is my dear friend's miracle IVF baby. We supported each other so much through our years of IF and TTC, and seeing that baby girl just makes me cry every time! She's so perfect.

Taken just this morning at 35 weeks.